Friday, 31 March 2017

more about fish

One of the things that anyone would want to be less of is hungry, therefore, I suggest eating fish from a can. Or a tin; in fact, they are the same thing, not many people know that.

I have long enjoyed times eating fish from a tin, or a can, or even in some instances, a sachet. A sachet is very like a tin, except that it is more of an envelope, and it is soft. The important thing is that it comes from the top shelf under the sink, and you get fish from a tin (or can) out of it. 

Dave gives me the fish out of a tin, can or sachet. He also sometimes gives me a piece of fish out of a plastic packet. I eat them all, and I am no longer hungry. I would suggest that anyone who is hungry, take a leaf out of my book. Or, perhaps, a fish piece out of my tin! But please don't, as I would rather eat it myself. 

Monday, 27 March 2017

my feelings

the man is clearly an idiot

If you know anything about me, which you surely do because I have quite a profile, you will know that within my house is a house, which I spend a huge amount of time in, and enjoy very much, when I'm not eating fish from a can. 

Now while I agree that it's true I have not actually been in my house for about a year and a half, nevertheless I value it very much. So imagine my disgust and horror when this Uncle Monty put himself into my house and got very comfortable thank you very much. I most definitely had to hiss at him for this behaviour at about 2:25 am, and again at around 2:35 am, but I'm sure I didn't disturb anyone else or wake anyone up. 

Sunday, 26 March 2017

Sunday night, my life becomes awful

It was a Sunday night in late March and the sun was fading. Dave and I were watching that morning’s Insiders, one of our favourite things to do on the weekend, when we’re not sitting in the garden looking at the nesting birds, or sitting under cars in the street, or eating our food on the verandah. I particularly enjoy the bit where we eat our food on the verandah. It’s fish from a can.

Sometimes, the fish is shredded, and sometimes it is in chunks, and usually it is in a sauce or a watery solution that I call fish water, and sometimes, it comes in a kind of loaf. I don't really mind as long as it is fish, because fish is my favourite food.

I don't really know what a fish is, but it seems to be quite a good food, and it is definitely my favourite, of all foods, though I also like hard food, particularly when it tastes like fish. 

I'll tell you more about fish later. But today, although it did include the eating of fish, was different...

Normally, things would be normal. But this Sunday night was when things went awfully abnormal. I can pinpoint the moment exactly: it was that instant when the door opened and a man came into the house with a big head, big fur and a big cage. I don’t know who he is, where he comes from or why, I only know his name is Uncle Monty. And he is everything I hate about the world.